Second Chances
part 1/1
Author: Lostiawen
E-mail: Lostiawen
Rated: soft R
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Summary: Miracles do occur.
Archive: My site.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Anne Proulx. The author does not own them and is not seeking to make a profit off their depiction here.
Author´s Notes:
I started this the day after Heath Ledger died, but I wasn't able to finish it until now. This short fic is dedicated to Heath, the man who affected countless scores of people with his touching portrayal of Ennis.
Posted Feb. 4, 2008.
Ennis knew when the end was coming -- he could feel it in his blood, feel it in the creak of his old bones and tired body. He didn´t care, he had long made his peace with the world. If this was his time, then so be it. He´d lived to see the birth of his grandkids, which was one of the things he really wanted to see.
The other thing he wanted, he knew had a snowball´s chance in hell of being granted. If he started to thinking about it, he would punch the wall and tell himself that he was all sorts of a damn fool for wishing the impossible.
He still held onto that thought, even as his last few breaths rattled in his lungs. Spots began to dance in front of his eyes, and the inside of his trailer started looking like it was far away.
This was the last stretch, and Ennis met it with a calm he didn´t know he had in him. As everything grew darker, he waited for his life to flash in front of his eyes.
Nothing like that happened. Instead, his body started getting lighter and lighter, and he could swear that he felt the brush of warm lips across his ear.
A vision of smiling, warm blue eyes passed in front of his face and the coldness that had seeped into him melted away. Even though talking was the hardest thing to do right now, he managed to name the one thing that was more precious to him than life itself.
"Jack," he croaked out before his aging heart finally gave out. As blackness filled his vision, a white light surrounded him, wrapping around him like a blanket. He was blinded for a few seconds, and when his sight cleared, he was standing on the fields of Brokeback.
The constant pain that used to mark his every move was gone, and when he looked at his hands, the skin was as smooth and wrinkle free as it had been back in ´63. He flexed, and felt the tug and strength of a young man´s muscles.
Ennis saw something out of the corner of his eye, and he lifted his head to see. Standing about three feet away, his thumbs hooked through his belt loops, was the one person Ennis loved more than life itself. He looked just like he did when they first met up on Brokeback, the one season in Ennis´ lifetime that he cherished more than anything.
"Jack...Jack Fucking Twist," Ennis whispered.
"Been waitin´ a good long spell, you son of a bitch," Jack replied before he clasped Ennis in his arms, his firm grip all the convincing Ennis needed to know this wasn´t a dream. Time seemed to slow as Jack cupped Ennis´ face in his hands, gazing tenderly at him before he hauled off and smashed their lips together.
It was the best damn kiss Ennis had ever had, sweeter than anything he could name. He grabbed Jack and gave as good back, pouring all of his years of loneliness out as he plundered Jack´s mouth. He didn´t want to think, didn´t want to question. He just wanted them to be together, to bury himself in that tight hotness, and lose himself while he looked deep into Jack´s blue eyes.
Their first joining was frantic and glorious. None of the messy mechanics in the real world affected them here, but Ennis could care less. What was important was that he was inside Jack again, their breaths mingling as they moved in sync, everything as perfect as he could want. Ennis felt like the whole fucking world was unraveling when they both climaxed, and he was sure that he was in heaven.
On the next round, they took time to explore, Ennis never saying anything since he never was much for words. He let every reverent touch, every tender caress speak for him, let his Li´l Darlin´ know how much he missed him. When they came a second time, it was gentler, but just as damn good.
He pulled Jack to him and they just lay there, enjoying the quietness. Ennis just lay there, but as the minutes ticked on, he started feeling like he should say something, anything. So he said the first thing that popped into his head.
"Hey, you know where we can get something to light up around here?" he asked.
Jack gaped at him for a minute and then slapped his forehead. "God damn. I don´t believe you, Ennis. You see a fucking corner store ´round these parts?"
"Fuck you," Ennis said, but he didn´t mean it one bit. He was feeling too good now, so happy that he felt like he was busting was the seams. Not that he was ever good at letting Jack know. He tried to stop himself from pretendin´ like nothing had happened, but old habits die hard. He poked Jack in the chest and said, "What kind of Heaven is this without smokes?"
Jack shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "This ain´t Heaven."
Ennis was confused as all shit. "It ain´t? Where in fuck are we, then?"
"From what I can reckon, this is a place to wait until we get re-born."
Ennis looked at Jack like he just said that he could turn water into whiskey. This sounded like another of Jack´s hair-brained ideas. "What in fuck are you talking about?"
Jack kissed Ennis on the cheek and said, "When those tire irons beat down on me...I wished with everything that I could manage to get a second chance with you, and I´d make it right. Then everything went black and I wound up here. Damn near went crazy waitin´ for you because time still passes the same up here, and I couldn´t see what was going on back down where you was at until you were about to go."
"You´re still not explaining things."
"We get another life, you stupid son of a bitch," Jack said with a laugh. "We head out, and our souls go to new bodies."
Ennis couldn´t believe his ears. This went against everything he was taught. Long years of cynicism caused him to automatically see the bad side of things, and he blurted out, "And how in hell are we goin´ to find each other? Unless you can guarantee that we´ll be born side by side."
The shit-eating grin Jack gave him chased any of Ennis´ fears away. "We´ll know. You just gotta have faith." His brow furrowed and he looked towards the horizon.
A glowing, white light had appeared at the end of the grassy field, and Ennis thought it sort of looked like a doorway. It was hard to tell, since he couldn´t stare straight at it.
Jack took a deep breath and said, "This is it. You ready?"
Ennis was anything but ready, but he didn´t let any of his doubts show. "I guess."
A strong hand gripped and squeezed his shoulder. A smile touched Ennis´ lips. Jack always knew when he was bullshitting. "It´ll be fine," Jack replied in a soothing voice. "I´ll hold onto you until I can´t no more. And I won´t rest until we´re back together again."
Ennis hugged Jack fiercely and kissed him one last time. His stomach was fluttering, but he pushed down that feeling and took Jack´s hand in his own. Even though his nervousness grew with every step, he didn´t let it show. He kept telling himself over and over again to believe in this, that everything would turn out right.
When they were just one step from the doorway, he squeezed Jack´s hand until he damn near broke it. He turned and gave Jack one final, trembling kiss.
Jack gave him a wobbly smile. "I love you," he said before he walked into the white light, taking Ennis with him.
The pain hit immediately, and Ennis felt like a million small knives dipped in acid were stabbing into his body. He bit back his screams, and kept his eyes locked with Jack´s, wincing when he saw that Jack was suffering as much as he was. Doubts started to flare, but he killed them, letting himself only think about holding onto Jack for dear life. He never let go, even when everything spun away from him and went black.
***
Many hours after Ennis Del Mar died, two baby boys were born on
separate coasts. One in Beth Israel Hospital in New York, the other
at a Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco. The New York boy had the
bluest eyes anyone had ever seen, and kicked up quite a fuss after he
drew his first breath, wailing so loud that the doctors teased the
parents about it for days afterward. The boy
in San Francisco was a blond-haired, quiet baby. He almost never fussed,
but when he did, it was a loud explosion of frustration.
Both boys grew up in middle-class, white collar households with no remembrance of their previous lives, save a fascination with cowboys and a mountain that they constantly saw in their dreams. The obsession seized hold of their waking hours, and they both filled their rooms with things to reflect their fascination -- hats, toy guns, you name it, they had it.
The New York boy´s dreams of the mountain were especially vivid, but he never was able to pinpoint its exact location. However, on the day he was to graduate from high school, he woke up with the name "Brokeback" ringing in his ears. Feverishly, he hopped onto the Net and found it within a matter of seconds.
And so, the blue-eyed man headed straight for Brokeback Mountain a week later. He had never been much for camping, but he just knew that he had to go there, to a spot by a stream. He had seen it every night for as long as he could remember, and he could practically walk there blindfolded.
He was still struggling with his tent when he heard a truck driving up. The truck had California plates, and he was wondering why someone would trek that far out of his way.
Curious, he looked up at the new arrival. When his eyes locked with the blond man driving the truck, the veil over his memories was torn away.
"Ennis!" Jack whooped, "You made it!"
Ennis smiled and jumped out of the truck right after he parked it, dashing out and scooping Jack up in his arms. Their lips met again, their kisses fierce and uninhibited.
"Ain´t never gonna let you go," Ennis said when they finally parted.
Jack´s heart soared at Ennis´ words. This was what he had hoped beyond all odds for, and he gave silent thanks for the fact that dreams did come true. You just had to want it bad enough.
THE END
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