Author: Lostiawen

E-mail: Lostiawen

Rated: NC-17

Pairing: KU/OB

Summary: Capturing a mage. 

Archive: Mirrormere, VOLA, my site.  All others please ask.

Feedback: Yes, please.

Warnings: Oh God, where do I start? Totally weird technobabble sex toy (don´t ask), crack!lite, AU, DP with a toy. 

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, none of this really happened.  The author is not associated with or is implying anything about the sexual preferences or the lives of the people depicted within. 

Author´s Notes: Okay, I have *no* idea where I came up with some of this stuff.  I should blame the absinthe I´ve been drinking, but I wrote it when I was completely sober.  It was the next morning, though, so maybe it´s lingering aftereffects? There might be huge honking grammar errors (so please tell me if I forgot something). 

Posted Dec.  30, 2007

Eric was glad that Karl agreed with his suspicions, but that left one thorny issue. "How in fuck are we going to get Orlando to stay still long enough for you to examine him? If he´s out to get us, I doubt that he´d just lie down while you stick an anal probe up his arse." 

"I´m not going to probe him, Eric. Pity though, because you know he´d go for that." 

Even though Karl was spot on, Eric still rolled his eyes. "Never mind the ´what ifs´. How are we going to capture him?" 

"I could knock him out once he comes back for patrol. We´ll just pretend that everything is normal." 

Eric shook his head. "That´s not going to work. This octopus wasn´t very subtle, so he´ll be surprised if there´s no reaction from either you or Sean. And he´ll expect me to either be awake and pissed or knocked out. Either way, he´s not going to lower his defenses." 

Karl threw up his hands. "So how in fuck are we going to do this?" 

Eric said, "I could make a suggestion, but you might not like it." 

"It can´t be as bad as almost being shredded by the Crimson Warrior´s multi-dimensional trap," Karl replied. 

Eric doubted this. If Karl knew what he was going to say next, he might have preferred being chopped into microscopic pieces by a death trap. Eric took a deep breath and said, "All you have to do is shag Orlando." 

"Excuse me?" 

Eric replied, "That´s the only time he drops his defenses completely. Trust me on that one." 

The expression on Karl´s face made it look like Eric had asked him to stick his John Thomas in a food processor. "Why can´t you do it?" 

"Because when my beauty sleep gets interrupted, I´m too narked to shag. If I act friendly at all, he´ll get suspicious." 

"Why don´t you ask Sean to do it?" 

"Because Sean is straight and all he´ll do is kick Orlando´s arse up and down the building. Come on, Karl...he can´t go without sex for more than a couple of hours. All you have to do is get him in bed and he wouldn´t notice if the building burned down around him." 

"Piss off. He´s not really my type," Karl said. 

Eric was about ready to protest but then he remembered that Karl´s ideal man was patient, thorough, and could reprogram someone´s DNA with only a limp piece of pasta and a ball point pen. He wracked his brain for a quality of Orlando´s that could appeal to a genius like Karl. "Uh...he´s really pretty." 

"Which he uses to twist people around his finger. I think I´d rather eat my own leg than sleep with him," Karl said. 

Bollocks. This was not working out well. Eric returned to his room, wondering if there was anything he could do to persuade Karl to change his mind. 

***
Karl tossed his pen against the wall in disgust. He had fancied Orlando in the beginning, but an unfortunate chain of events ruined that attraction. 

The first had been Orlando´s introduction to Eric. Eric had always been a magnet for size queens, and after hearing from Sean about how Orlando´s tongue had practically been dragging on the ground; it didn´t take a genius to deduce that Orlando´s primary requirement for shagging someone was based purely on dick measurement. Karl couldn´t possibly compete with Eric in that department, so he was going to wait until the "new fuckbuddy" thrill wore off before he made his move. 

That is, until Orlando had decided to reprogram the computers. 

Karl grit his teeth together as he remembered that day. He had been working on a new design for his armoured suit when his computer stopped responding to any input from the keyboard. Puzzled, he checked the cables to make sure that everything was plugged in. 

All of the cables were in place, so Karl sat back in his chair, trying to figure out a way to avoid rebooting. As he sat there, the letters on his diagnostic display started running together and dribbling down the screen like something out of a Dali painting. 

Karl did a double take and rubbed his eyes. Maybe he had been up too long and was starting to hallucinate. Then a pair of lips formed on the monitor and it spoke to him. 

"What is your command?"  A deep booming voice said. 

"What the hell?"  Karl replied. And then he heard a loud, sharp noise emanating out of his server´s chassis. Karl wasn´t too sure if his hearing was off, so he leaned down and pressed his ear against the metal case. 

And then he heard it. A muffled *klang**klang**klang*, followed by a round of cackling. 

Karl pinched himself to make sure he wasn´t dreaming. He winced at the pain, but the noises continued, which meant that something really was inside. Annoyed, he grabbed a screwdriver and removed the screws from the chassis as fast as he could manage. 

The giggling and the hammering was still going on when he popped his server open. Karl´s jaw practically dropped to the ground when he saw that the cause of the noise were several tiny red creatures with horns and forked-tails. They were all equipped with diminutive hammers in their fists, and they rapped the tools against whatever vital hardware they could reach. 

"What in FUCK?"  he roared out. The demons didn´t appear to be bothered by Karl´s exclamation. They blew raspberries and then mooned him while making those evil high-pitched snickers. 

Orlando stuck his head in at that moment and said, "Oh, I wondered where that lot had popped off to." 

That sentence made Karl see red. "These are yours???" 

Orlando shrugged and said, "Of course they´re mine. I couldn´t figure out how to open any of my folders so I asked these blokes if they could fix my computer so that I could just tell it what to do. I guess they thought your system was mine, yeah?" 

Karl barely kept himself from peppering Orlando with laser fire. "Do you know how much work I just lost? I´ve been sweating over this modification for about twelve hours straight." 

Orlando said, "Don´t get your pants in a bunch. I´ll just tell these buggers to sod off and everything will be fine."  He gestured and made a series of noises that sounded like he was gargling iron filings. 

The demons disappeared and Orlando said, "There. Everything should be fine." 

Karl tapped on the keyboard. His monitor was now back to normal, but the armoured suit that was now displayed had morphed into a cheetah shape. The specs for missile and laser cannons in his gloves had been replaced by a diagram for a device that would make fudge out of thin air. Instead of boot jets, little mechanical wings were attached to each paw, and the tail was equipped with a coffee maker. 

To say that Karl was brassed off was putting it mildly. Karl was all set to tear Orlando several new arseholes, but then he received an emergency scramble. The Darkholde had gained possession of an artifact that would enable them to disrupt the time stream, and all team members were needed urgently. 

It had been a long and exhausting fight, but they emerged victorious. And during the course of the battle, Orlando had saved Karl from permanent banishment. Karl decided to let his anger over his lost work to slide at that point, but he vowed that hell would freeze over before he considered bedding Orlando again. 

A small cough grabbed Karl´s attention and he looked up. "What is it, Eric?" 

Eric had a disc of some sort in his hands. "I found this DVD in Orlando´s room. It didn´t look familiar, so I popped it into my computer." 

"Did anything play?"  Karl asked. 

Eric shook his head. "No, so I checked the disc itself. There´s data on it, but I can´t access any of the files." 

"Sounds like it´s encrypted," Karl said. "I´ll take care of it." 

"Thanks," Eric said. "I´ll be in my room if you need me."  He gave Karl the disk and left. 

Karl hummed as he loaded the DVD. The encryption was rather complex, so it took a bit of effort to crack it. 

The files were rather large, and Karl wasn´t surprised to discover that they were video clips. Maybe they contained a clue to Orlando´s odd behaviour. He sat back and loaded the first one. 

Karl almost dropped his coffee cup when he saw Orlando appear on the screen completely starkers. He was bent over a sofa, one leg propped up while Eric fucked him from behind. Karl had a perfect view of that thick cock stretching Orlando´s pink flesh open, plunging in with a fierce rhythm while Orlando moaned like a nine dollar whore. 

He tried to make his hand move so that he could close the file, but he couldn´t tear his eyes away from the sight of Orlando writhing in pure ecstasy, fingers scrabbling against the sofa as he begged Eric to fuck him. His prick strained uncomfortably against the codpiece of his armour, throbbing as he watched Orlando get reamed. 

He cursed the fact that he didn´t have a ready access flap so that he could squeeze his aching cock. Karl made a note to himself to investigate that possibility as he removed his suit, leaving him clad in a t-shirt and slacks. 

One of the monitors signaled that Orlando was returning to base. Karl hastily shut the clip and grabbed what he needed before he rushed to the entrance. 

Orlando floated down gracefully and his eyes immediately flicked over the tent in Karl´s trousers. "I´m so sorry, Karl. If Eric wasn´t waiting for me, I´d take care of that for you." 

Now Karl was sure that something was wrong with Orlando. If Orli was in his right mind, he should have made some sort of comment about the inadequate contents of Karl´s pants. He still remembered taking Eric out for dinner and listening to his teammate bitch about how Orlando considered anything less than ten inches to be a "trouser mouse".

"Actually, Eric´s in a stroppy mood. Of all things, an octopus like creature tried to attack him." 

"Really?"  Orlando replied. Karl had to hand it to Orlando, he was really good at faking surprise. 

"Yeah. He´s sulking now. He locked himself in his room and if I know Eric, anyone who tries to pop in will be kissing the ceiling." 

Orlando looked sorry for about 1/100th of a second before he wound his arms around Karl´s neck. "Well, then. I´m free for you." 

"And I brought something to spice up things between the sheets."  Karl had a small, flat disk secreted inside his hand and he pushed an almost invisible button. The disk elongated into a bright yellow vibrator that was almost as long as his forearm, but fairly slender. A cup was attached near the base. 

"What´s that?"  Orlando said, pointing to the cup. 

"Invention of my own," Karl said. "This handy dandy little thing at the bottom surrounds your bollocks and massages them when I turn the whole unit on." 

Orlando licked his lips and said, "That leaves you out in the cold, yeah?" 

Karl raked his eyes over Orlando´s body and leaned closer. His lips brushed Orlando´s ear and he said in a deep purr, "I plan to slide in next to it and pound your tight little arse." 

That did it. Orlando´s eyes fluttered and he said, "Oh yeah..."

Moments later, he whispered a spell and teleported them both to his room. Their clothes had disappeared during the trip and they were both gloriously naked. 

He plucked the vibrator out of Karl´s hands and said, "Sit back and enjoy the show." 

Orlando rolled back, putting his knees into his ears before he spread his legs open almost 180 degrees. His hole was already slick, and he winked at Karl before he pushed the vibrator inside his pink entrance, moaning as the length filled him. 

He let out a squeak when the cup moved of its own accord and wrapped around his bollocks. Karl grinned and said, "Like it? The stuff is my own invention. It´s a pseudo-organic shape-shifting material; nanites are embedded inside a matrix of a remodulatable phase-variant polysilicone substance, making it responsive to biothermal and chemical impulses." 

"You really need to work on your dirty talk," Orlando replied. He looked like he was about to make another cheeky remark when his entire body suddenly went taut. "Fuck! That feels good! What in hell?" 

As Karl watched, tendrils that had grown out of the base of the vibrator and snaked around Orlando´s slim hips, giving it something to brace against. "The short version is that the toy can reconfigure itself to fit your body and hit all of your hot spots. It´s also equipped with a rudimentary AI and I´ve programmed it so that it can fuck you however you want."  He paused in his lecture because the yellow extensions had tightened across Orlando´s pelvis, and shifted, pulling the main shaft of the vibrator back. It didn´t stop until it had pulled itself almost all the way and then it plunging in sharply, causing Orlando to cry out loud enough to shake the walls. "Looks like it found your prostate." 

Orlando didn´t reply, his fingers were twisted in the sheets and he was writhing in pleasure as the vibrator sawed in and out, reaming him until he was incapable of coherent speech. Karl´s prick throbbed as Orlando´s body thrashed from side to side, enjoying the decadent moans that were pouring out of his slightly parted lips. Sweat glistened on his lithe body and he reached up to pull his cheeks apart, giving Karl a view of his handiwork. 

"More..." Orlando gasped out before the vibrator slammed in again, causing him to keen out loud. 

Karl didn´t need to be told twice. He lubed up his cock and nudged the vibrator with it. It stilled, and Karl ignored the vociferous whine from Orlando -- he needed to concentrate as he lined up his erection just underneath the toy. Taking a deep breath, he pressed forward, teeth gritting as he encountered resistance from the guardian ring. 

He noticed that Orlando was no longer swallowing in huge gulps of air with every breath. His loud panting quieted down and his features became placid. Then the impenetrable constriction around the tip of Karl´s shaft began to ease up. He pushed forward, his rolling back into his head as his cock slid into the unimaginably tight space. 

Orlando´s brow was furrowed deep in concentration as Karl forged ahead. Karl was trying not to explode then and there. The sight of Orlando´s pink flesh stretching out around the toy and Karl´s cock was hot beyond all belief, and the pressure was so divine that he couldn´t put a word to it. 

Heat, slick tightness, the musky smell of Orlando´s arousal, his white teeth nibbling his bottom lip...all of these wanton sights and sounds caused a deluge of pleasure to course through Karl´s entire body, sensitizing him to such a degree that each puff of Orlando´s breath caused gooseflesh to raise on his skin. The pressure was delicious beyond anything he could describe, and it took all of his willpower to remember to activate the vibrator once he touched bottom. 

A loud scream pierced the air and Orlando convulsed as if he had touched a live wire. "Oh fuck, so good...fuck fuck fuck!" 

His previously calm body was now a tornado of motion. He arched up sharply, slamming against Karl before he fell back onto the mattress, wailing out a continuous stream of obscenities. He pushed down frantically, as if he wasn´t going to be satisfied until Karl´s flesh was firmly melded with his own. His fingers dug into Karl´s arms as he thrashed around, his movements so wild that the bottom sheet on the bed had been yanked free by his writhing. 

This was almost too much for Karl. The vibrations cascading through his cock stimulated every nerve, and that coupled with Orlando´s uninhibited enthusiasm had pushed him close to the edge. 

"Ohfuckohfuck...more!"  Orlando screamed before another jolt rocked his slim form. 

Karl couldn´t resist that plea and he pulled back. The vibrator sensed the motion and responded, synchronizing itself so that they were soon plunging into Orlando in an alternating rhythm, one pulling back while the other plunged forward. 

"Oh fuck yeah!"  Orlando cried out. He grabbed Karl´s ass and yanked him down, trying to maximize the contact. His eyes were clouded over with lust, and he was completely oblivious to his surroundings. 

Perfect. With a truly superhuman force of will, Karl pressed his palm against Orlando´s neck. Orlando let out a small gasp, and then he immediately went limp as a ragdoll. 

Karl thanked the fact that he had the foresight to implant a single charge stunner underneath the skin of his hand. He had placed it there shortly after he began his superhero career, since he didn´t want to be defenseless if he was ever caught outside of his armour. 

As he deactivated the vibrator, he noticed that his arousal had not just died down, but it ached more than ever. He pulled out and tried to concentrate on something unsexy, but his blood still thrummed with desire. 

Damnit, something was wrong. Karl stretched over to punch the intercom, and even that motion caused frissons of lust to shoot through him. "Eric, I got Orli. Help me haul him to the lab, and hurry." 

A minute later, the door opened and Eric said, "Congratulations, mate..." He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at them for a moment. "If you just shagged, why are you both harder than a teenaged lad alone at home for the weekend with a big pile of gay porn?" 

Karl was still breathing in large, gulping breaths. He was still overstimulated, and even the slightest breeze was causing his prick to tingle. "Please, just get us both to the lab." 

Fortunately, Eric didn´t ask any more questions and he scooped the two of them up, tucking one person under each arm. As soon as Eric´s hard muscles pressed against Karl´s body, another pulse of desire hit him and he was suddenly seized by the urge to hump whatever part of Eric he could reach. 

He bit back a groan, and Eric looked at him quizzically. "Are you okay?" 

Karl shook his head. He was feeling more and more dizzy, and it was hard for him to piece two sentences together. Eric seemed to sense his distress and hurried as fast as he could, but it still seemed an eternity before he arrived at the lab. 

Once they were there, Eric plopped Karl into his usual chair. Karl bit back a hiss as his bollocks rubbed against the slightly rough material, sending another pulse through his overstimulated body. His fingers trembled as he loaded the biological scanning programme. 

He wasn´t surprised when he saw the results. He tapped a few more keys, trying to keep his mind focused on his task. He noticed Eric jumping when one of the lasers activated. 

"It´s all right," Karl panted out, wiping the sweat from his brow. Moments later, he felt the painful sensitivity leaving his skin and his raging erection subsided. "Had to reprogram my nanites to detox my blood." 

"Care to explain what happened? And can you make sure that I can understand it?" 

Karl grumbled. He thought that when he explained things it was perfectly clear, but none of the other Crusaders seemed to grok anything he was saying. "Orlando somehow managed to drug me with something that heightens sensation and increases libido to a huge degree. So much that a person will literally knock themselves out fucking him." 

Eric looked thoughtful. "No wonder he summoned that octopus. Drugs and chemicals don´t do shite while I´m in hero form. But that doesn´t explain why you´re still here." 

"It wasn´t easy, but I managed to clear my head enough to knock him out mid-fuck with my emergency stunner." 

"Christ!"  Eric looked completely at a loss for words. "Talk about heroic." 

Karl had finished dressing in his civilian clothes and he stepped back into his armour. There was no way he was going to continue without some defenses in place. "All in a day´s work, mate. Come on, it´s time for me to probe our renegade mage." 

Eric had dumped Orlando´s unconscious form on an examination table, and Karl set about securing him. He fastened a set of restraints around Orlando´s wrists and ankles, making sure to put the slim hands in a pair of tight mittens. He also put a gag on Orlando, to keep him from voicing any incantations. 

Once Karl was satisfied that there was not a snowball´s chance in hell that Orlando could get free, he activated the biological scanning programme. When the initial results were projected on the screen, Karl sputtered. Those readings couldn´t be true. He pressed his ear to the computer, trying to listen for little demons hammering away. 

Eric looked at Karl as if he had gone completely barmy. "What are you doing?" 

Karl didn´t hear anything, so he muttered out, "Long story. Eric...the person on the table isn´t the Orlando we know. He´s an enhanced clone." 

----
end part 2

Part 3
Part 1
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